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How to Handle Dating Rejection

Gayla — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 11:47:26 +0000

Rejection can be a painful event for many people. While some rejections may be irrational, the person ending the relationship usually has a reason that they don’t to be with someone anymore. It’s essential to learn from every relationship — this is the only way it’s possible to grow as a person.

The end of a relationship is a time for inner reflection. It’s important to take a survey of one’s life and see what steps need to be taken. Some people may feel that they are the victim during a rejection. It’s important to realize that a relationship is based off the actions of two people. While it’s impossible to change the actions and behaviors of the other person, there are often significant changes that one can make in their own life.

It’s important to provide time for oneself when a relationship ends. Since being single gives one a sense of freedom, it’s often possible to pursue activities and hobbies that weren’t possible when one was in a relationship. This could include an extreme sport like skydiving, to watching a TV show that few other people enjoy. It’s important to give oneself time to recover emotionally after any bad relationship.

It’s also a good idea to take a personal inventory after any type of rejection. A personal inventory can be extremely challenging for many people. Most people live in a sense of denial their entire lives. This inventory can include a self-assessment of one’s personality, finances, hobbies, and attractiveness. These are all areas it’s important to work on in order to make the next relationship work.

There is no such thing as ugly. Many people who think they are ugly simply have poor self esteem. While no one is born ugly, it’s possible to become ugly through a poor lifestyle. Obesity, smoking, alcoholism, and poor health are all self-induced diseases. They can turn a beautiful face into an ugly mug in only a few years. It’s important to stay in shape, eat healthy, and avoid negativity.

It’s also important to look at one’s personality to see if it was the reason for rejection. Many people aren’t attracted to people they consider needy, controlling, angry, or hateful. These are all personality traits it’s possible to improve. A therapist or mental health professional may be able to help one make the changes one needs in their lives.

The end of a relationship or a rejection can be a valuable time for learning about oneself, one’s community, and the lives of those in it.

Photo courtesy of squelchey

Article provided by Gay Parship serious online matchmaking for gay men and women.

Online Dating: What Not to Write & Why No One Wants You

Gayla — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 22:39:47 +0000

Brenna Ehrlich and Andrea Bartz are the sarcastic brains behind humor blog and book "Stuff Hipsters Hate." When they’re not trolling Brooklyn for new material, Ehrlich works as a senior writer at MTV, and Bartz is a news editor at Psychology Today.

In a Netiquette CNN article this week, they offer 7 humorous email openers that are guaranteed to get you deleted immediately. They claim that even if someone finds you attractive, “ironic mustache and all,” a bad first email will completely ruin your chances at love.

Read the article here.

So now, let me ask you this – if you’re dating online, when it comes to email responses, what turns you off?

A pretty good example of what NOT to do on an online dating video bio

Gayla — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 12:05:24 +0000

I don’t think there’s a better example of what NOT to do than this. Check it out and let me know if you have better examples Related posts: A pretty good example of what NOT to do on an online dating video bio Skyecandy Releases Demo for Video Speed Dating on Skype Dating a Co-Worker [...] Related posts:

A pretty good example of what NOT to do on an online dating video bio

Gayla — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 11:41:37 +0000

Flirting Tips & Flirting Advice for Meeting, Dating & Romancing Hot Single Girls

Gayla — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 19:53:49 +0000

This advice actually comes from a middle-aged man. Imagine that!

When you picture this situation, you probably see yourself sitting in front of the television, beer in hand, trying not to roll your eyes at the flirting advice coming directly from a man with a beer gut and a middle-aged wife nagging him. Conversely, you might be envisioning getting flirting advice from a smooth-talking guy with slicked-back hair who gets the ladies because he’s got deep pockets. But this is not that kind of flirting advice and it’s not coming from that kind of middle-aged man. No, instead, this middle-aged man is the one who is average looking and of average income but who has years of experience in the changing world of flirtation and has developed this flirting advice which actually works more often than not.

Now, keep in mind, this flirting advice is good for both men and women of any sexual orientation.

The best of the flirting advice gained through years of experience is the rule that if you’ve got it, flaunts it. This is followed quickly by the lesson that if you don’t have it, you shouldn’t display it. This flirting advice applies not only to the physical but also to other levels of flirting interaction. How many times have you been around that guy who told a joke, and everyone laughed to be polite, so he told a dozen more? You don’t want to be that guy.

What you learn as you go through years of flirting is that there are very few people who have it all. You just aren’t going to be the most beautiful, smartest, mort powerful, most charming, funniest person in the room, because that one person just doesn’t exist. As a middle-aged man, he’s just not going to have the body of a twenty-year-old guy. But what he’s done is is created his own collection of traits and experiences. The best flirting advice he offers is that you have to realize what your strengths are and make use of displaying those strengths to others in a way, which is natural for you. The purpose of flirtation is to interest another person in you, so showing them what’s great about you is the way to go.

The other critical piece of flirting advice this guy offers is that flirting is supposed to be fun. You should enjoy it for what it is, rather that always aiming for a specific goal and being disappointed if you don’t achieve it. For example, if you are flirting with a girl across the room at a club, and she invites you to dance, but you don’t leave with her number, you can have two reactions. One is to be disappointed that your flirtation didn’t lead to a whirlwind romance. The other is to be happy with the fact that your flirtation interested her in dancing and you probably had a good time while doing it. Flirtation doesn’t always lead to satisfaction, which is what keeps us all interested in the game. It’s the reason that people who are perfectly happy in their committed relationships often flirt with others. We like to be liked and some of the best flirting advice of all time is that there should be just as much pleasure in the chase as there is in the catch.

Related to this is the flirting advice which starts with being comfortable with who you are. As you get older, you realized that most people aren’t paying attention to your flaws nearly as much as you are. You are your own worst critic when you should be your own best friend. If you take nothing else away from this flirting advice, take this: if you are a person who enjoys flirting and does it appropriately, your flirtation will usually be well received.

These rules can easily be applied to online dating as well. When you happen across a profile that really catches your eye – take special care to reach out in a confident and flirtatious way. One of the best places to start grooming those flirtatious skills is with Match.com 6 Month Guarantee – That’s SIX months to master the skill with nothing to lose if you don’t find a match.

Facing Rejection While Dating Online

Gayla — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 19:11:52 +0000

You’ve chosen several photos from your online dating service and sent out your personal online profile. Now you are waiting for the replies to start rolling in. You wait a few days, and nothing. You start to feel as though you should go back to the bars, at least the rejection there is face to face. What could have gone wrong?

First of all, these people don’t know you, so you can’t realistically take a lack of response too personally. Often users of online dating services have a stack of profiles next to their computer and take their time returning emails, so don’t get discouraged.

The worst mistake you can make is contacting people over and over. This can turn them off and give the impression that you are a stalker, some dating services online will cancel your membership or censure you if they receive reports of continuous attempts to contact ( as well they should. Remember, they don’t know your motives any more than you know anyone else’s when online.)

Another online dating tip is to contact as many people that have an interesting profile as possible. If you only contact two or three, and then wait weeks for a reply, of course you’re going to get frustrated, but if you send contact emails to 20 different people, chances are you will receive several replies. Again, do not take it personally! There are hundreds of free online dating sites to choose from, and those are just the free ones. I have a personal confidence in sites like eHarmony and Match.com though. It’s always been my personal belief that you get what you pay for. If you are joining free dating sites – then what message is that sending? If you are willing to pay for a quality service – you might have better luck in meeting your match.

If you are continuously getting rejection emails (I don’t mean lack of replies, but true, actual rejections) maybe the problem is your profile. Recheck it and see what it says about you. Is it honest and sincere? Did you send your best picture? Does it sound too needy or too non committal?

There are lots of services that offer to help with putting together the perfect profile. I even have an offer to critique or rewrite your personal ad – based on years of working in the online dating industry, I’ve got a pretty good handle on what works and what doesn’t – I’m always happy to provide tips to help people find love.

Online Dating – Russian Brides – Russian Girls Dating and How To Avoid a Russian Dating Scam

Gayla — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 18:28:07 +0000

Beautiful Russian Woman Want to Fall in Love With You?

Are you sure it’s not just about Money?

Are you contemplating searching for a Russian wife? Perhaps corresponding with a Russian woman? Maybe even using a Russian dating agency? Want to find out if your correspondence and relationship is genuine?

The Online Russian Bride and Russian Online Dating is a strange world indeed.

While there are legitimate Russian Bride sites out there, for the most part, things are not always as they seem!

First, let’s explore exactly what defines a scam…

There are many scams; here are some of the top ones:
The Russian woman is not the one in the photos you receive.
The Russian woman (or man posing as a woman) has no intention of dating or marrying you; she just wants you to send money or airline tickets.
The Russian woman is just interested in a green card. She will divorce you as soon as she receives it (2 years after marrying you and arriving in the US)

If you want to learn more about these particular variations of the scam – read on…

1. She’s not the person in the photos.

This is a simple scam, and happens in all internet dating, not just the Russian Bride sites. The photos are likely of a model or friend and the description is probably as fake as the picture. Beautiful people photos can be found all over the internet – so don’t always believe what you see. She hopes that once you have invested time and money getting to know her, you won’t mind she’s not as young, pretty or educated as her profile had claimed.

2. She’s Just After Your Money

Just like the Nigerian letter scams and fake lotteries, there is often no real person wanting to meet you; it is just a scam to get you to send money for any number of reasons: translations, agency commissions, to pay fees or airline tickets. Airline tickets can easily be exchange for cash, so don’t think that sending tickets offers any protection at all. Scammers are being found on established dating sites, like Match.com. Many times, no woman even involved, and the what’s more, scammers may even be in the US. A while back, an American MAN sentenced to 5 years in jail for "Russian Brides" scam. Seriously!

3. She’s Real, Will Marry You & Divorce you Within 2 Years

Life in Russia is no fun! Unless you are among the wealthiest and elite, life is usually very hard. Of course, many people would love to live in the states, so she’ll marry you. However, after receiving her green card, she’ll divorce you. When that happens, she then sends for her boyfriend/husband who’s been waiting patiently in Russia. There’s really no way you can fully guard against this – anyone can manipulate this scam from anywhere.

What to Do If You Want to Date a Russian:

Don’t assume ANYTHING. Don’t assume the photos, names or stories are real. Unless of course you wish to assume nothing is real and go from there.
Take your time, scammers are impatient and will "fall in love" with you within the first few emails. Thus making them far more transparent.
Do NOT use unknown agencies and agents!
Use trustworthy, well-established agencies for meeting women and arranging trips.

There are a few legitimate ones – if a Russian Bride is what you want, I’d recommend checking out Elena Models. They seem to be the most reputable Russian Online Dating site going.

Remember – Do NOT send money for Visas or plane tickets. And go to her country, meet her there and do so in a very public place. If all seems on the up-and-up, go from there.

Explore Single Russian Girls on Elena Models Here

Do You Attract The Opposite Sex?

Gayla — Sat, 23 Oct 2010 19:36:26 +0000

All of us want to get a great mate. We want to settle for nothing less than the best.

Do you have a personality that’s attractive to the opposite sex? Do you have that magnetism to pull them in?

That are big questions and once we understand how to do that, the world is, as they say, our oyster.

Let’s begin with raw appeal.

There is something called animal attraction. Some of us have it and some of us don’t. This appeal could be attributed to a variety of aspects. It could have to do with the tone of your voice, your walk, our style, your personal scent, your body and your personality.

Take special care of these and you are half way there. Suppose you are a woman. You are asked to join a group of hundreds of women all standing in a line. Then select men are allowed to view all of you. Will you beat all the women and attract attention of these man?

If you can manage that, you are a winner. The same can be said for men too.

What about understanding the personality of the opposite sex?

Take a teacher for instance. She is trained to handle many children and knows how to teach them.

Do you know anything about how to handle the opposite sex? Have you studied about them? If not, you might want to check out some guides to the opposite sex and study up on that as soon as possible.

Making yourself attractive is the first requirement. Once you have a handle on that, you can easily manage to find a date in no time.

Good Luck.

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Cheap Date Ideas

Gayla — Sat, 23 Oct 2010 17:45:36 +0000

I think everyone is feeling the pinch of our challenged economy, right? Are those expensive dinner dates more than your budget will allow?

When the cash flow a bit tight you can still enjoy a great date – All it takes is a little imagination.

Here are a some cheap date ideas to get you started –

Take a hike or go for a walk. Regardless of season – the best way to get to know someone is to go for a ‘walk and talk’. At the end of your walk, you can always stop into a local cafe or coffee shop if you’re both interested in talking more.

Play a game. Nothing ‘spells’ fun like Scrabble! Maybe a deck of cards and while away an afternoon or evening playing games together. You can learn a lot about a person by watching how they react to winning or losing a simple game.

Do a wine tour. Check around for local wineries, consider doing a tour. Most wineries offer free tastings and you might discover a cheap local vintage that you both particularly enjoy.

Attend a book reading. Authors promoting their latest book will sometimes travel from city to city giving readings at local bookstores or libraries. Dates will be posted in the store or you can make a quick call to find out when one might be held.

See a play. Local theater productions in smaller venues often cost very little per ticket and they’re almost always great! Check out some local undiscovered talent!

Have a cook-in. If you enjoy cooking, or would you like to learn? Get together with your date, pick a recipe and get cooking! Cooking together will be fun and much less stressful than if you’re doing it all yourself.

Free concerts. Many cities and large towns host musical functions in their on weekends during the warmer weather. Check the newspaper for free concerts playing in your area.

Visit a museum or art gallery. Many museums and art galleries have discounted fees and even free days on occasion. Let your fingers do the walking through the yellow pages. Call ahead to find out when they are held, then go and soak up some local culture.

Volunteer. Is there a local charity or sporting event taking place near you? Look into volunteering to help them out for the day. Not only will you have fun and meet new people, but you’ll feel really good for having made the special effort too.

Can You Find a Serious Guy?

Gayla — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 11:00:00 +0000

Dear Coco,

What is wrong with single men? I want a relationship that leads to marriage and kids, and at 34 I can’t afford to waste my time. Am I just really unlucky or do men stop their mental development after they get out of high school? They often want sex without a relationship (something I never do), or they are too busy with their careers. What do I have to do to be taken seriously? I haven’t dated a guy longer than a month in over three years. Is it possible in this day and age to find a man who wants to get serious?

End of my Rope

Dear Rope,

Take a few deep breaths. Your anxieties are turning you into the dating equivalent of a circus freak; it’s no wonder the men run screaming. If you want them to stick around you need to lighten up in a major way. Quit husband-hunting!

That’s right—all thoughts of wedding receptions and seating charts and monogrammed napkins are heretofore forbidden. Ditch the rules and make a decision to date for fun only. Do not think of trying to turn the men you date into husband—or even boyfriend-material; simply focus on whether you enjoy their company on that particular night. Date as many of them as you can at once, but if they ask if you want to go steady, shake your head wistfully and say, "You know, it’s not a good time for me…" You will seem fun and cool and perhaps slightly tragic, as though nursing some mysterious and impenetrable wound. Guys will desire you all the more, and one of them will fall in love with your freaky, circus-lady self.

Reprinted with permission via Match.com

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