In a letter to Dear Abby, a mother has presented a problem that she’s hoping to get some advice on.

Here’s the letter:

Dear Abby: My daughter’s former lover, “Beau,” is my age. (She is 20 years younger.) She was married when she and Beau had their affair, and still is. She regretted the affair, but continues to keep him as a friend. She introduced us a few years ago.

As their affair dwindled to a friendship, Beau and I began to have an interest in each other. As I started to see him in a different light, my family got upset.

Are they overreacting, or is this so strange that I should stop the relationship? It does creep me out a bit, but Beau is such fun to be with that I don’t dwell on the past. Would it be extremely weird to date your daughter’s ex-lover? Your thoughts, please.

Having a Ball Down South

Is it really THAT difficult to see WHY anyone in the family would be upset?

Talk about the discomfort this would cause over Thanksgiving and Christmas?

I’m sorry, but I canNOT imagine dating someone that had been involved with and slept with a close personal friend, let alone a family member.

If this mother were standing in front of you at this very moment, what would YOU say to her?

Here’s an interesting question for you Date1411 readers –

You’re going out with a guy that you have a strong physical attraction to and you’d like to continue with the relationship. The big problem he doesn’t know his strength and some things like grabbing the leg can actually hurt.

Whether it’s a smack on the butt, a pat on the back, a lame attempt at tickling, he’s just too heavy in his actions.

Do you tell him and try to teach the old dog new tricks or do you just break it off for fear that this pain might escalate into something entirely different?

Seriously, if he’s that heavy when playing, what would be like when he’s angry?

Thoughts?

You would think that dating widowers would be rewarding for the most part. As a woman, you wouldn’t feel you were being sized up to another woman and you wouldn’t have to deal with that woman being in your life, even if only occasional.

On the other hand, there are a number of women who have shared their experiences on just how risky dating a widower might be.

Have you ever had to compete with the memory of a ghost?

Something to think about!

Tom Blake shares a number of stories, both rewarding and risky by women who have dated or are involved with widowers.

How many of you check your horoscope or compare astrological signs before dating? Come on…raise your hands! I know you’re out there!

Hey, I did! I’ll admit it. I’ll be the first to stand up and say that it took me dating not 1 or 2 but SEVEN Gemini’s before I realized that my “Everything You Need to Know About Your Astrology Sign” book was right on the money! Cancers and Gemini’s do NOT mix!

Call me silly, but Seven Times of that book being right and I became a believer!

Want to know if you and your honey are a good match? Want to know if that date this weekend has potential?

Check these handy dandy little tools out:

Is it a Love Match

Is it a Great Sex Match?

Dating is complicated enough – so every little bit helps! Even when it’s something as silly as a little astrological match guide. Go ahead, try it! I bet you’ll be surprised!

One of the best sex and relationship columnists going, Dan Savage at Nerve responded to a gal the other day who was asking about engagement – talking engagement and moving in together.

You were discussing marriage at three months?

The fact that he would bring up marriage so early, and the fact that you didn’t laugh in his face, disqualifies you both from obtaining a marriage license. (Okay, it doesn’t — but it should.) Three months — eight months, sixteen months — is way too soon to be discussing marriage. Sure, you can allow yourself to be swept away by new love, you can crush out on each other, you can sheepishly admit that you’ve allowed yourself to daydream about marriage — so long as that admission is immediately followed by this statement: “But I realize it’s way too soon to even think about it seriously…” But you absolutely, positively should NOT be making plans to marry, small ceremonies or large, courthouse or St. Paul’s Cathedral, at eight f**king months; nor should you attempt to hold him — or anyone else — to a premature “commitment” to wed.

I’ll give – three months is awfully quick to be discussing marriage. Though I’ve been there, done that. I had a man want to put a ring on my finger in mere weeks – but I think that was more of a territorial thing than an “engagement” thing – but 16 months is far too long in my opinion.

I’ve always believed a year is a good timeframe to work with before becoming engaged or getting married. This allows the couple to process through all four seasons – you can see how your partner maneuvers through those seasons, observe the activities they enjoy during those times – how they handle the holidays – how they handle meeting your extended family and much more.

That’s not to say there are some relationships that can withstand an early engagement and commitment – because I know couples who married after a couple months of dating – and they’re still together 20+ years later.

As long as you’ve weathered some of the best and worst of times – seen each other at both worst and best, survived a long trip away together and have endured a crisis or two – then you might just have what it takes to endure marriage for the long haul.

It’s important that each person is honest about finances too. That being the biggest relationship killer – don’t ever expect love to be strong enough to survive a surprise credit score that hinges on the side of despair.