For much of my adult life; I’ve been a love her, hate her fan of Dr. Laura. My love for her began the first time I read Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives. I read this book following my divorce from my kids dad. I learned a few things, but relapsed into the unhealthier mode of relationships that women find themselves in these days.

Later, I read Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships in hopes of being the best I could be in a relationship while motivating my significant other to be their best.

Each book delivered valuable lessons that can be introduced into real life. Whether you agree with Dr. Laura or only on some things, these books are worth reading.

The thing I disagree with Dr. Laura on is her advice to single mothers. She’s made it clear she doesn’t think single mother’s should date until their kids are at least 18-years-old.

I couldn’t disagree more.

If a mother makes the conscious decision not to date while raising her kids, I think she’s missing the boat on teaching her kids how to date, how to choose the right partner, and what loving relationships are like.

As a child of divorce, and as a mother who has been single, I see the value in the lessons these life situations present. Kids are a product of their environments. Kids will grow and act on the learned behaviors they were exposed to growing up.

People can teach better lessons with their lives than with their lips. Don’t miss the opportunity to teach and to lead by example.

• Expose your children to happy, healthy, loving relationships
• Expose your kids to being a person who commands respect
• Expose your kids to the joys of romance
• Expose your kids to taking a stand against being mistreated

There are so many examples I could add, but I think you get my point.

To suggest single parent’s refrain from dating or pursuing new relationships because the children didn’t ask to be children of divorce is unrealistic.

Should a single parent refrain from dating until their kids are grown? Or what lessons do you think kids could learn from their parents?

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1. Single Parents – When to introduce him to the kids
2. SingleParentMatch.com – A Single Parent Dating Site
3. Single Again – A Dating Site Review

Now – before you click over to find out what those things are, I have to ask… Do you have any idea what those things might be?

Drop a comment below then click hop over to Eavesdropping in the Boys Club to find out.

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This advice actually comes from a middle-aged man. Imagine that!

When you picture this situation, you probably see yourself sitting in front of the television, beer in hand, trying not to roll your eyes at the flirting advice coming directly from a man with a beer gut and a middle-aged wife nagging him.  Conversely, you might be envisioning getting flirting advice from a smooth-talking guy with slicked-back hair who gets the ladies because he’s got deep pockets.  But this is not that kind of flirting advice and it’s not coming from that kind of middle-aged man.  No, instead, this middle-aged man is the one who is average looking and of average income but who has years of experience in the changing world of flirtation and has developed this flirting advice which actually works more often than not. 

Now, keep in mind, this flirting advice is good for both men and women of any sexual orientation.

The best of the flirting advice gained through years of experience is the rule that if you’ve got it, flaunts it.  This is followed quickly by the lesson that if you don’t have it, you shouldn’t display it.  This flirting advice applies not only to the physical but also to other levels of flirting interaction.  How many times have you been around that guy who told a joke, and everyone laughed to be polite, so he told a dozen more?  You don’t want to be that guy.

What you learn as you go through years of flirting is that there are very few people who have it all.  You just aren’t going to be the most beautiful, smartest, mort powerful, most charming, funniest person in the room, because that one person just doesn’t exist.  As a middle-aged man, he’s  just not going to have the body of a twenty-year-old guy.  But what he’s done is is created his own collection of traits and experiences.  The best flirting advice he offers is that you have to realize what your strengths are and make use of displaying those strengths to others in a way, which is natural for you.  The purpose of flirtation is to interest another person in you, so showing them what’s great about you is the way to go.

The other critical piece of flirting advice this guy offers is that flirting is supposed to be fun.  You should enjoy it for what it is, rather that always aiming for a specific goal and being disappointed if you don’t achieve it.  For example, if you are flirting with a girl across the room at a club, and she invites you to dance, but you don’t leave with her number, you can have two reactions.  One is to be disappointed that your flirtation didn’t lead to a whirlwind romance.  The other is to be happy with the fact that your flirtation interested her in dancing and you probably had a good time while doing it.  Flirtation doesn’t always lead to satisfaction, which is what keeps us all interested in the game.  It’s the reason that people who are perfectly happy in their committed relationships often flirt with others.  We like to be liked and some of the best flirting advice of all time is that there should be just as much pleasure in the chase as there is in the catch.

Related to this is the flirting advice which starts with being comfortable with who you are.  As you get older, you realized that most people aren’t paying attention to your flaws nearly as much as you are.  You are your own worst critic when you should be your own best friend.  If you take nothing else away from this flirting advice, take this:  if you are a person who enjoys flirting and does it appropriately, your flirtation will usually be well received.

These rules can easily be applied to online dating as well. When you happen across a profile that really catches your eye – take special care to reach out in a confident and flirtatious way.  One of the best places to start grooming those flirtatious skills is with Match.com 6 Month Guarantee – That’s SIX months to master the skill with nothing to lose if you don’t find a match.

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2. Expert Flirting Tips
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5) Blue Ball vs. Climax – The city of Blue Ball is located in the Amish region of Pennsylvania, where the ladies prefer bonnets to bikinis and a fiddle over an iPod. Climax is situated far off on the opposite side of the state where your chances of getting there are… about zero.

4) Yakutsk, Russia – With a record low of -67 degrees Fahrenheit in March, going outside in board shorts will result in more than one blue appendage to complain about.

3) Kabul, Afghanistan – Unless your idea of fun is playing hopscotch across an IED-riddled mine field, you’d do well to get your adrenaline rush elsewhere.

2) San Quentin State Prison – That sauna you’re wandering into is actually a gas chamber, and as a bonus, you’re sharing a hotel bed with the ghost of Charles Manson.

1) Haiti – Haiti got all the Spring Break necessities: gorgeous weather, pristinely desolate beaches, and a complete lack of infrastructure. We love our Haitian compatriots and because the crisis is far from over, we remind everyone to donate $10 to the victims of the Haiti earthquake by texting HAITI to 90999.

Complete article at OnlineBootyCall

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Some people are natural flirts, but what if you’re not one of those people? We’ve compiled 10 expert tips on flirting that even the most timid of singles can use.
10. Flirting is an attitude
A good flirt is self-confident and not afraid to take risks. Be enthusiastic and positive — it works!
9. Start a conversation
The best opening line is saying hello. Talk about the surroundings, ask a question, ask for help or state an opinion.
8. Have fun
Be playful, light-hearted and spontaneous. Show your vulnerability.
7. Use props
Never leave home without a prop. Props are natural conversation starters. They encourage conversation and others will be compelled to start talking to you. Great props include dogs, kids, unusual jewelry, a fabulous scent, a sweatshirt with your favorite passion, unusual ties, hats, or an interesting book or newspaper.
6. Be the host
Change your behavior from guest to host. You are not a passive person waiting around for romance; instead, you’re the welcome committee.
5. Make the first move
Move closer to the person you want to meet. Say hello.
4. Listen
You have two ears and one mouth because you should listen twice as much as you speak. Listening is a true art. Your flirting partner will be drawn to you. Everyone loves to be heard.
3. Eye contact
Please look your partner in the eye gently (no more than a few seconds) and then glance away. Don’t stare — it’s a turn off.
2. Compliment
Compliment your flirting partner. The best compliments have the element of surprise. The "flirtee" will know that you really noticed them. Remember, your compliments must be honest, sincere and genuine. When you receive a compliment, the best response is a simple "Thank you!"
1. Smile
It’s contagious. Smiling makes you so much more approachable. A smile lights up your face and draws people to you. You’ll be a people magnet.

This and other great dating articles can be found at Chemistry.com

Fran Greene is a freelance writer who often covers relationship issues.

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Melissa Braverman, who blogs about dating, said she knows someone who was asked out on a walking date and considered it a turnoff. And in the last six months, she’s noticed that men don’t suggest meals. When they meet for drinks, they limit it to one hour. She believes it’s so she won’t order a second drink.

“The recession is almost becoming an excuse,” said Braverman, 35, of New York. “Men don’t want to take the initiative, suggesting something fun that is inexpensive. It’s more, well, ‘I can’t afford to take you out for a meal, let’s keep it brief.’ Unfortunately, a lot of times chemistry needs time to develop.”

I agree that chemistry takes time to develop, that you need time to get to know one another (that’s why I’ve given cheap ways to meet potential mates and listed cheap date ideas), but are men (and women too) weaseling out and being cheap as opposed to being practical or thrifty in these economic times? If so, they are selling themselves and possible relationships short.

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My mother and I have been having a discussion lately on clingy, needy men and my constant effort to make sure my boys don’t grow up to be that way. Even if it means teaching them to fake not being clingy until it becomes habit.

When I was a single parent on the dating scene, there were few things that would turn me off SO bad that I’d bail on the possibility of relationship and never look back – in fact there were many times I’d run, not walk toward the exit.

One friend would jokingly call me the “Queen of first dates” – I knew she meant it in a fun way, but at times it would really set me wondering if there might be something wrong with me – seriously wrong.

I was a complete commitaphobe and learned early on I have this enormous need to be left alone – a lot!

In fact, I’ve often joked with my husband by saying “how can I miss you if you don’t go away?”

I have a relative who can’t figure out why they can’t have a lasting relationship or why they’ve never been able to find someone to settle down with. Care to guess why?

Well, I’ve tried to tell them time and again – but they just don’t seem to listen. So, the relatives example makes it easy for me to point out to my kids, just what needy, clingy and smothering behavior is like.

A few months back I had one son that seemed to be falling into that category – a girl had broken up with him – he began sending her text messages wanting to know what he did that was so wrong, what could he do to win her back, what could he do to change — you get the point…

I wanted to SCREAM! And did actually.

What I did was have him stop texting immediate. Detox for a couple of days and when she began to text him again, I coached him through what to say. He followed my lead and was able to get over that girl and is now fighting the girls off with a stick.

All the girls are crazy over him because he learned confidence, he learned to not be clingy and needy and to make the girls miss him when he’s not around.

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Conventional wisdom tells us that men inflate their numbers, while women demur their digits — and according to this article, that’s true. But why? Are we both lying to look better, with men trying to project their stud status and women trying to protect their reputations — or their lovers’ feelings?

Norman Brown, a psychologist at the University of Alberta (who finds that American men report an an average of 18 while women report an average of just 5), says it’s not simply a matter of lying. “It has to do with self-presentation, estimation, and memory.”

Women are more likely to “just know,” or to have a tally somewhere, a method psychologists call “notches on the bedpost.” Women are also more likely to use enumeration (“Let’s see, Dave, Tarik, that guy from the gym…”), which produces underestimates, since people forget instances.

Men are more likely to use rough approximation (“Jeeze, I don’t know, like maybe 50?”) or rate-based estimates (“Let’s see, one a month for the past five years…”) — a method that produces overestimates.

But the gender discrepancy isn’t just a matter of poor counting either; the survey method itself matters.

Extremely sexually active women downgrade phone estimates compared to onine. (Men don’t.)

While the article doesn’t expound, I’m guessing vulnerability and anonymity are key here.

Another factor is undersampling prostitutes, who don’t get included in surveys due to “lifestyle issues” — they’re not in the phone book and they aren’t often home during dinner hours.

This is especially important, in my mind, because male clients are included in the surveys — and surely such professional interactions inflate their numbers. (Enlarge scan below to see evidence of this in male celebrities’ self-proclaimed numbers — which, by the way, does not include female celebrities. Arg!)

Surprisingly, men base their sexual partner count on the overheard comments of others — lowering their count to match conservative opinions, raising their count to match permissive sentiments. Women who overhear such conversations are unaffected.

I cannot but help to wonder if it this sheep mentality on the behalf of males which dictates a knee-jerk response to the “moral majority” — men clearly are more insecure and willing to submit to conservative cultural conformity (in word, in preaching; not in deed), and this must drive much of our current politics and societal conversation (including the control of women who aren’t affected by such espoused norms).

The article ends with more familiar territory; in which men are more likely to inflate their numbers when the researcher is female, even though the research shows that the more sex partners a man has had, the less attractive he seems.

Wouldn’t it just be simpler if men just resisted the urge to do or say anything to get laid? It doesn’t work anyway.

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How often have you reflected on that comment when your eyes begin to roam in public or when browsing the constant temptations being thrust in your face on the internet? You’re minding your own business, browsing for the best deals on ebay or searching for a new tool to add to your collection when suddenly an ad pops up in your face inviting you to play with this “hot single” that’s waiting just for you!

Before you know it you are thinking, it won’t hurt to just take a look and see how the other side lives. One click leads to another and another and suddenly you sucked right into a world of fantasy that flatters you, makes you feel desirable and a smile creeps across your face, click, click, click.

Now you find yourself trying to justify your actions to overpower that sense of guilt by claiming, “it’s the internet, it’s not real.” But honestly, how real is it?

For as long as there have been marriages there have been the beliefs that singles have more fun all while singles seem to be on a constant search to find their place within a comfortable compatible relationship. It’s a never-ending process.

Don’t be fooled! Although it may seem your single friends are having more fun, I can tell you from the single woman’s perspective, it’s more challenging than any job or career I have ever had.

Having been a single mother, dating became more challenging than my chosen career. Every relationship, when fresh and new gives you the sense of bliss, but when the newness wears off, you’d better have more to go on than laughter and lust.

Although I strongly urge anyone who is in an abusive relationship to find the courage to leave, I, on the other hand encourage anyone seeking a little more excitement to look within themselves and their own relationship and do what you can to create that excitement and passion at home. Leaving a spouse or partner because the relationship has grown boring can only lead to more heartache, more work and more confusion than you ever imagined. Remember it does take two to create passion!

The stresses of a single parent, regardless of whether it is the mother or the father can be overwhelming at best. Anyone you choose to date will have to fit into the lives of more than just you! You date the person to see if you get along and if it’s worth taking to the next step. Then you introduce them to your children, your family, and your friends. How do they measure up? One little glitch in the system and you are back to square one, having invested weeks or months into a person that just didn’t fit.

The countless nights of sleeping alone, the burden’s of carrying the complete financial load, the many nights of eating alone or curling up on the couch with the closest thing to sensual is a lick on the cheek from your faithful companion, your dog.

There will be no one there to help offset the load when a child gets sick, there won’t be anyone there to help you when you get sick, there won’t be anyone there to help erase the fear when you hear a thump in the dark. There won’t be anyone there until the weekend.

There have been countless times I have set back and watched as single friends will tell tales of their singleness as the married friends would look and listen with a certain envying gleam in their eye. You can almost see them get lost in a zone of fantasy wishing they could experience the fun their friends speak of.

Most times you can chalk this up to the fact that misery loves company and the single friend is tired of being single alone. They need to recruit new blood into their single army for their weekend excursions to the single bars, concerts and dinners out where they can finally request a table for more than one.

Married people will often give into these tales of single excitement and the next thing you know, they are single and before long their friend is suddenly dating someone new and that person who once had a comfortable stable but boring marriage is now setting home alone. It’s a vicious cycle that is affecting so many marriages and wrecking havoc on many homes and families.

The online dating scene is a clear testimony that being single isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. There are so many lonely hearts reaching out seeking someone to fill that void in their lives. You can also find in that single scene, many married folks looking for a one-night fling to spice up their lives, or simply trying to find proof that they are still desirable to the opposite sex. Be very cautious of the waters you jump into.

Having been on the single scene, I was suckered by not one but three married men online. All of which I truly believed were far to good of a person to ever lie to me. I felt like the worlds most horrible person when out of the clear blue, a “wife” contacted me. In each case, the wives believed their husbands stories and that I was a home wrecker. They were convinced that I had known all along their husband was married. When in reality I didn’t have a clue!

For the life of me I could not understand how these men could toy with my heart, get me to fall for them when they could not give themselves to me, as they wanted me to give myself to them. But most of all I could not understand how they could so easily wonder outside their marriage and in such selfish acts take advantage of and inflict so much pain on so many people.

For those who are looking for a little excitement in your life, I urge you to look at your partner. Talk to them and do everything you can to find that passion that originally brought you together. If you need a little tutoring, look at the many books that are listed on Amazon, talk to other married folks, not singles who may have an ulterior motive in the destruction of your relationship.

Although the grass may appear greener on the other side, grass always dies when it gets to cold or when seasons change. At the same time in the spring grass comes back to life and can often appear even more beautiful than before especially after a long harsh winter.

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While combing my content sources this morning, I happened on I Date White, Chronicles of a Black Man dating White Women.

First, I want to say just how much I admire Eathen for having the courage to share such personal experiences with the world.

This happens to be one of those “issues” I’m ignorant to, but am completely captivated by and will be looking forward to learning through the personal experiences of Eathen.

While I have my own solid preferences when it comes to interracial relationships, that’s just saying it’s not right for me – but for those who can withstand the harsh realities of the world, I say more power to them.

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