For much of my adult life; I’ve been a love her, hate her fan of Dr. Laura. My love for her began the first time I read Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives. I read this book following my divorce from my kids dad. I learned a few things, but relapsed into the unhealthier mode of relationships that women find themselves in these days.

Later, I read Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships in hopes of being the best I could be in a relationship while motivating my significant other to be their best.

Each book delivered valuable lessons that can be introduced into real life. Whether you agree with Dr. Laura or only on some things, these books are worth reading.

The thing I disagree with Dr. Laura on is her advice to single mothers. She’s made it clear she doesn’t think single mother’s should date until their kids are at least 18-years-old.

I couldn’t disagree more.

If a mother makes the conscious decision not to date while raising her kids, I think she’s missing the boat on teaching her kids how to date, how to choose the right partner, and what loving relationships are like.

As a child of divorce, and as a mother who has been single, I see the value in the lessons these life situations present. Kids are a product of their environments. Kids will grow and act on the learned behaviors they were exposed to growing up.

People can teach better lessons with their lives than with their lips. Don’t miss the opportunity to teach and to lead by example.

• Expose your children to happy, healthy, loving relationships
• Expose your kids to being a person who commands respect
• Expose your kids to the joys of romance
• Expose your kids to taking a stand against being mistreated

There are so many examples I could add, but I think you get my point.

To suggest single parent’s refrain from dating or pursuing new relationships because the children didn’t ask to be children of divorce is unrealistic.

Should a single parent refrain from dating until their kids are grown? Or what lessons do you think kids could learn from their parents?

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2. SingleParentMatch.com – A Single Parent Dating Site
3. Single Again – A Dating Site Review

Signs he’s about to have an affair?

• Once quiet, he becomes a storyteller. He never leaves the house without an alibi. Frequently lies about the women he spends time with. Hasn’t cheated yet, but clearly preparing for the day he does.
• Feels Trapped – He’s not even sure what happened. One moment he was happy with simple daily togetherness, next he feels caged and resents the lack of freedom. He may be terrified that if he stays in the current relationship, it will be the last person he ever has sex with.
• Rather than condemning friends for cheating, he finds reasons to justify their actions.
• Develops relationships with other women. He seeks out sympathetic women and tells them of his crumbling relationship or marriage. Emotional affairs are only a couple of drinks away from a full physical affair.
• He keeps girlfriend or wife a secret – When he speaks to other women, he neglects to mention he’s in a relationship or married.
• He has sexual thoughts of being with other women. When the mind starts to wander, it’s only a matter of time before the body follows. Often unable to perform with their partner without imagining she is someone else.
• He relaxes the moral code and begins encouraging an open relationship (at least on his part). He may suggest threesomes, try to convince you that monogamy is overrated, or that very few creatures or cultures for that matter are monogamous, why should he be?
• He searches for arousal elsewhere. He becomes incredibly drawn to porn or strip clubs. He’s simply not aroused by you anymore. Maybe he misses the spontaneity, the feeling of falling in love. On the rare occasions the two of you still have sex, he simply goes through the motions, rushes through or avoids foreplay altogether.
• He becomes curious and starts exploring what opportunities might be out there. He checks out websites designed to meet his needs to cheat. MILF’s looking for an affair, lonely wives looking to cheat, the cries for NSA attention on Craigslist, etc. He begins searching names of old flames so he can recall the hot steamy sex they once had. It’s like watching mental porn where he’s the star. The women might be less attractive than his partner, but they have that new girlfriend smell.
• He turns up the charm, collects phone numbers, secretly emails. He kicks up his bathing and grooming habits a notch or two. He’s using old pickup lines but with new confidence. This time he has a secure relationship to fall back on.
• He begins placing himself in situations that make it easier to meet women. He begins making up excuses to work late, shops alone, joins clubs or the gym.

Do these signs sound familiar? These subtle, and often progressive changes in personality, actions or words could indicate a developing plan to cheat whether he realizes it or not.

It’s important to remember that any relationship worth saving can be saved through open, honest communication. Affairs, regardless of how tempting they may be, have the potential destroy relationships and those in them. Once trust is broken or lost, it can never be regained. And the process (or attempt) of regaining trust can be exhausting at best.

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2. Online Relationships: Are They Really Cheating?
3. Absence – Does it make the heart grow fonder?

There are often subtle differences between a man and a woman in what they take away from an interaction. The keyword is "subtle" so be careful. It is too easy to slip into the trap of thinking that "all men are . . . " or "all women are . . . "

With that caveat, subtle differences between the emotional makeup of men and women can get us into a lot of trouble. Both men and women need love. Both men and women need respect. But in balance, the need for respect is stronger in men and the need for love is stronger in women.

How does this play out between a man and woman who love each other? In the early stages of the relationship, she knows by his behavior he respects her, but her thinking is focused on, "He really loves me." It is obvious to him that she loves him, but he is thinking, "She really likes me," that is to say, "She respects who I am as a person."

Then life happens — work, babies, money problems, etc. One day they both come home from work tired. He leaves her to make dinner while he relaxes with a drink. She feels a little unloved and is mildly critical of his failure to help or at least offer to. He gets defensive. Then he stonewalls and refuses to discuss anything. He does what she tells him to do, but in silence.

The exchange has left her feeling unloved by someone she loves deeply. He always helps when he’s asked, but why doesn’t he initiate anything? She experiences his silent stonewalling as withdrawal of love.

The exchange has left him feeling unliked and disrespected, although he never doubts her love for him. He shut up to prevent the argument from escalating. He had felt respected all day for his competent performance at work, but now at home he experiences her criticism as disrespect and dislike for him as a man.

I have heard women say, "I knew it was over when he said ‘I don’t love you’." I might dismiss this as being a bit melodramatic, except that one time 40-some years ago, my wife said to me, "I don’t respect you." The emotional impact on me was profound. As I look back, I can see how that simple statement marked the beginning of the end for that marriage.

The "love versus respect" issue needs some respect . . . and love.

Psychologist Dr. Neill Neill maintains an active practice on Vancouver Island, BC, Canada, with a focus on healthy relationships and life after addictions. He is the author of Living with a Functioning Alcoholic – A Woman’s Survival Guide. Get a copy of his free report "Codependency and Alcohol Addiction" at http://neillneill.com.

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Finding your soul mate can be a daunting task for anyone. We all have our wish list of the qualities that our perfect partner will possess. Let’s not kid ourselves, the American dream is “to have it all”, “hold out for the best” and, “don’t settle.” After all, as the old saying goes, it’s just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man, right? But just how long are singles willing to wait for the perfect specimen with whom to hook? As a matchmaker, I often have trouble finding a match for men of a certain height.

No matter what the woman’s height is, I often hear, “I don’t date anyone under 6’0’ tall. I naturally pose the question, “Why?” The reason? “I lurv my heels, and even though I am 5’7, in heels I am 5’11’ and I don’t want to be shorter than my date. Then I hope that you and your four- inch pair of Jimmy Choos will live happily ever after.

The average height of the American male is about 5’9.’ Many women are missing out on some great guys because of their height requirements. Some of our sexiest and funniest actors measure in at 5’7’ and under, Tom Cruise, Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Elijah Wood, Al Pacino, and the adorable Harry Potter star, Danielle Radcliff.

A confident and sexy woman doesn’t mind if she is the same height or a bit taller than her man when she wears her heels. Actually, it gives easier access to smooching! So ease up a bit on your self imposed rules and snag yourself a soul mate!

Marla Martenson is the dating expert in the land of beautiful people. Early in her career, she turned her talent for dating into a full time profession, helping the rich and famous find their soul mates.  She went on to become an author of two relationship advice books. Excuse Me, Your Soul Mate Is Waiting, Good Date, Bad Date and her memoir, Diary of a Beverly Hills Matchmaker. Marla has been featured on The Today Show, WGN Chicago Morning News, KUSI San Diego Morning Show, Urban Rush, San Diego Living and Better TV, as well as over fifty radio shows including Coast to Coast AM and The Cooper Lawrence Show.

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1. Relationship Advice – Keeping It Private!

Maintaining a online relationship involves time and effort from both parties. Whether it is family, friends or a romantic relationship, there are lots of tools to help you keep in touch and share what is happening in your lives — even if you are far away.

Steps

1. Consider setting up a time to connect on a regular basis. That way you will both look forward to it. Your best bet is to schedule a talk at least once a week. Less frequent connects can be appropriate for staying in touch in some cases but if you want more than a superficial relationship you need to share what is going on in your daily lives. If you are in a committed relationship you may want to connect every day.
2. Choose the tools you will use. For conversations, consider Skype, messenger services such as MSN, AOL and Yahoo. For sharing photos and generally "keeping up" with friends consider social networking sites like Facebook.
3. Make communication with one another a important event, one you will both look forward to doing. If one person loses interest then it’s easy to lose contact.

Tips

• Organize a schedule of some sort
• Be committed to it
• Make communication fun and interesting
• Try not to lose contact
• Use various communication tools online

Warnings

• Share information but don’t be too aggressive. In online relationships, just as with a face-to-face relationships, everyone needs his or her own space

Related posts:

1. eHarmony – Free Communication MONTH! All February Long!
2. Relationship Advice – Keeping It Private!
3. Secrecy vs. Privacy – The new relationship with old baggage

Donald Trump is a famous Billionaire who has endured ups and downs for a number of decades. It appears a large portion of his wealth has been made in Real Estate. Now he has a popular reality series NBC, The Apprentice. The Reality Show isn’t all frivolous as a lot of the other reality shows around. At the center of every episode are real gems on how to climb a corporate ladder, how to lead, how to stand out from the crowd and even how to fail and avoid getting the boot.

The Apprentice centers on a competition for a job working for the Billionaire Donald Trump. Every episode features some sort of business task or some sort of competition. At the end of each episode some of the competitors are fired which means they leave the show and miss out on the opportunity to work for My Trump. This takes place in the Boardroom where members are encouraged to evaluate their teammates performance, abilities, work ethics. The guy who makes the biggest errors tends to be the one “fired”. Beyond winning the competition, each individual team member must act in a manner that earns him or her respect as a project manager or team member.

Some of the gems of the show for thought.

1. Think Like A Winner

Donald Trump’s most profound comment (and first commandment) is, "Winning is everything." He explained that while there is no better feeling… the ability to think like a winner is the key to being one. Those who take their eyes off the prize wind up hearing two little words: you’re fired.

This relates to dating as somebody who feels confident. A person who feels he has already won a battle has a huge edge over somebody who feels he has a lot of obstacles to overcome. A person who feels he is a winner is a winner as your beliefs are what shape you. The person you wish to win over will be heavily more attracted to somebody who believes in themselves than somebody who doesn’t.

2. Polish Your Interview Skills

The importance of exceptional interview skills became crucial as the field narrowed to the final four contestants in episode 14. Kelly, Jennifer M, Kevin and Stacy underwent a grueling series of job interviews with four of the top business leaders in the world. The two candidates left standing after this process — Kelly and Jennifer M — demonstrated superior ability to think on their feet. Some of the spontaneous answers lobbed by Kevin and Sandy, made viewers cringe. It quickly became clear who had the ‘right stuff’ to survive the hot seat.

This second rule can be applied to having good communication skills. Somebody who can think of their feet and express their thoughts easily can communicate their feelings much more easily. Somebody who is also good at interviews will know what to say that can open somebody up to a whole new level. They will allow a great sense of rapport to be built quickly and be very deep.

3. Lead Strong or Play Along

Getting their team of ‘alphas’ to follow without question was a challenge for each project manager. Some ruled with an iron fist, others used manipulation and guilt. Some didn’t handle it at all. In episode 11, Wes took the lead in a task to create an ad campaign for Levi’s Jeans. Maria, one of his teammates, thought she had this task together and angrily told Wes to back off, while she seized control. Maria was so busy throwing her weight around, she missed the primary focus of jeans advertising… the ‘butt shots’. This single oversight cost the team dearly. Later, in The Boardroom, Wes was fired for failing to control Maria,,, and she was fired for posing as a know-it-all. Two for the price of one turned out to be all in a day’s work for Mr. Donald Trump.

On this and dating. One of the things we teach our students in workshops is to lead and never hesitate. When a student sees strong indications of interest it is his responsibility to act on them and follow up. If a student fails to lead than the interest level will soon drop to a very low level quickly. Learning to Play along can also be taken as a way to see the signals and be aware of them. When somebody is showing interest it’s best to play along and let them be interested than giving them something else.

4. Step Up; Take Responsibility

Finger-pointing was rampant among teams on the Apprentice. If you were really slick about it, laying blame off on one of your teammates could help you survive another day. If you weren’t… oh well.

This is a common thing I see with some students when I hear about what they have done before working with Fidentia in a workshop. They fail to take responsibility for their own actions. This is done in so many ways its crazy. First if they have a bad date they blame the date a lot, where they went, what they did, others around –yet they never look at themselves and wonder if they could have done anything different to improve the situation. The only way to learn from mistakes is to first realize you made a mistake in the first place.

Another example is guys who use different systems for dating. There are many programs out there. I can make ALL of them work. When a student can not make something work. They tend to first want to blame the system instead of themselves. So they are on a constant search of dating systems never realizing that each system has had some students have success. They can not learn if they do not take responsibility for their own actions.

5. Resist the Impulse to Be Impulsive

The game provides that the winning project manager receive an exemption from firing should his or her team lose the following week — an Apprentice "Get Out of Jail Free" card.

Bradford won week one… but lost in week two. He had clearly been the hardest working and most productive on his team and Mr. Trump seemed to especially favor him. Moreover, he had the exemption and could not be fired. All he had to do was sit back and make insightful comments about his teammates.

But Bradford let his cockiness get in the way of sound business judgment. He bragged to Mr. Trump that he was so confident of his performance he was willing to give up his exemption.

Trump accepted Bradford’s offer… and then fired him, for making an unwise and impulsive decision. It was a harsh, but instructive consequence for acting in a rash manner.

One of the things I can think of with this is somebody who is too impulsive is not paying attention to others. A relationship is a two way street involving both parties. When somebody is being impulsive and the other person isn’t respective than this creates a dead end.

6. Instill Confidence in Your Team

Both of the final two contestants, Kelly and Jennifer M, demonstrated how to respect and inspire their co-workers. Choosing people you trust and with whom you have mutual respect goes a long way toward success.

In the final episode, eight of the previously fired teammates were brought back to become the support team for the final task. Jennifer and Kelly were allowed to take turns choosing their team members. Kelly took a stronger role with his team, expecting more of each of them, while Jennifer delegated the heavy lifting to herself.

In the end, both sets of teams did a great job for their PMs, but Kelly’s team proved more loyal and spoke more highly of his leadership abilities. Their confidence in him had an impact on the final outcome.

This can be taken in installing confidence in who you are attracted to. When you are interested in them and extremely confident. Others will feel your true feelings. When they can feel your feelings they will mirror them. Who wants to be around somebody who takes away their confidence?

7. Watch What You Say

Both talking too much and saying the wrong thing can hurt you in business. Jennifer C was an example of both errors and their consequences. Every time she appeared in The Boardroom, Jennifer was admonished by both Mr. Trump and his property manager, Carolyn, for talking when she should have been listening to others.

Later, after making a demeaning comment about two women customers in an episode, she was booted from the show. To add injury to her insult, when the show finally aired, she was also fired from her real world job for that comment.

This applies to dating with the idea of listening is just as important as talking. Telling somebody they are pretty when they are trying to make a point and have something important to say is not what they want to hear. The same would go for things such a negative hits or being cocky and funny which are terms used in the seduction community.

A negative hit is a slight insult which is supposed to be insulting but not seem like you meant it. I do not usually endorse this. It is to try to convey you are not really interested in your target person to let their guard down.

Somebody who is being very cocky and funny can do so at the wrong time too. When a person is showing signs of interest they are asking for rapport. Giving them answers that are cocky and funny will actually break rapport and chase a lot of people away.

8. Know When to Listen

During another visit to The Boardroom, Trump chastised (National Debate Champion) Andy for not standing up and arguing in his own behalf. Andy shot back to Mr. Trump that part of being a debate champ is in knowing when to talk and when to listen.

A short and sweet argument that paid off.

I think this and how it applies to dating and seduction is very obvious. Listening is a key part of communication.

9. Keep it Strictly Business

Viewers were told — over and over — that The Apprentice contestants were culled from over a million applicants and were said to be the best of the very best. This being so, one wouldn’t expect the male participants to lose their composure when attractive women crossed their paths, mid-task. And yet, there was Raj. In addition to an unending stream of inappropriate comments, Raj stopped just short of a butt wiggle and a "woooo, whooo " whenever a beautiful woman was within ten feet.

And while this behavior did not directly lead to his being fired, it did (often) cause him to lose focus and take his eye off the prize. In fact, Raj was ultimately fired for letting an important detail slide — making sure the toilet was installed in a home he was charged with remodeling.

This is a little bit more difficult to summarize for dating. Somebody who lacks focus tends to lack drive. When you really have a goal in mind going after 20 different things usually gets somebody nowhere.

10. Avoid Showing Your A**

This one should be a no-brainer, but since it actually happened, maybe not. Fairly late in the game, in episode 13, Ivana was desperate for a win. Clutching at straws, she offered to pull down her skirt and flash her underwear to a strange businessman on the street if he would pay her twenty dollars for a candy bar worth one dollar. He did… and then she did… So, it was no surprise that Ivana wound up in The Boardroom, having to explain this gaff to Mr. Trump. She claimed her action as a ‘gimmick.’ But this taught us another valuable lesson — know when you have done something inappropriate and face it head on. When she refused to acknowledge that she crossed a line, the shock, dismay and controversy surrounding her behavior was palpable.

Well this is true but there is a time to show you’re a** and a time not to show your assets. When you first meet somebody common sense says don’t take off your pants as the first things you do when introducing yourself.

To summarize all of this a lot of the rules that help somebody get ahead in business can also help them get ahead dating others. Take a look at the website. To learn more about “The Apprentice” go to http://www.NBC.com

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Match.com is offering a FREE 3 Day trial to test out their service. If you’ve been thinking about trying online dating, this is a great place to begin. Match.com is one of the best there is for online dating. The service is legitimate, they’ve been around for a long time so they have a great handle on the dating business and the results could be real for you. This offer won’t last forever, take a chance and give it a try.

Maybe you’ll find just what your looking for!

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3. Chemistry.com – 7 Days FREE!

With over 7 Million members, Chemistry.com is fast becoming one of the largest online dating sites. Due to its large membership Chemistry.com base, it can be very easy to find single men and women from all local areas.

Members usually post detailed information about themselves and are encouraged to always include photos. Chemistry.com offers an online personality test  to  help members determine their level of compatibility before they contact another member of the dating site. 

Chemistry.com is extremely user-friendly and Date1411.com has found their customer service team to be top notch with everyone – even free members. 

All new members who sign up for the Chemistry.com free trial will have access to every feature, including the free online personality test mentioned above, as well as Chemistry.com’s compatibility matching services whereby members can automatically receive compatibility matches sent to them via email for FREE. 

New members who are no longer interested in taking part in this promotion must cancel their free trial membership within 7 days as explained in Chemistry.com’s terms of service to avoid being charged any initial membership fee.

Click Here to Start Your 7-Day Free Trial on Chemistry.com

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This advice actually comes from a middle-aged man. Imagine that!

When you picture this situation, you probably see yourself sitting in front of the television, beer in hand, trying not to roll your eyes at the flirting advice coming directly from a man with a beer gut and a middle-aged wife nagging him.  Conversely, you might be envisioning getting flirting advice from a smooth-talking guy with slicked-back hair who gets the ladies because he’s got deep pockets.  But this is not that kind of flirting advice and it’s not coming from that kind of middle-aged man.  No, instead, this middle-aged man is the one who is average looking and of average income but who has years of experience in the changing world of flirtation and has developed this flirting advice which actually works more often than not. 

Now, keep in mind, this flirting advice is good for both men and women of any sexual orientation.

The best of the flirting advice gained through years of experience is the rule that if you’ve got it, flaunts it.  This is followed quickly by the lesson that if you don’t have it, you shouldn’t display it.  This flirting advice applies not only to the physical but also to other levels of flirting interaction.  How many times have you been around that guy who told a joke, and everyone laughed to be polite, so he told a dozen more?  You don’t want to be that guy.

What you learn as you go through years of flirting is that there are very few people who have it all.  You just aren’t going to be the most beautiful, smartest, mort powerful, most charming, funniest person in the room, because that one person just doesn’t exist.  As a middle-aged man, he’s  just not going to have the body of a twenty-year-old guy.  But what he’s done is is created his own collection of traits and experiences.  The best flirting advice he offers is that you have to realize what your strengths are and make use of displaying those strengths to others in a way, which is natural for you.  The purpose of flirtation is to interest another person in you, so showing them what’s great about you is the way to go.

The other critical piece of flirting advice this guy offers is that flirting is supposed to be fun.  You should enjoy it for what it is, rather that always aiming for a specific goal and being disappointed if you don’t achieve it.  For example, if you are flirting with a girl across the room at a club, and she invites you to dance, but you don’t leave with her number, you can have two reactions.  One is to be disappointed that your flirtation didn’t lead to a whirlwind romance.  The other is to be happy with the fact that your flirtation interested her in dancing and you probably had a good time while doing it.  Flirtation doesn’t always lead to satisfaction, which is what keeps us all interested in the game.  It’s the reason that people who are perfectly happy in their committed relationships often flirt with others.  We like to be liked and some of the best flirting advice of all time is that there should be just as much pleasure in the chase as there is in the catch.

Related to this is the flirting advice which starts with being comfortable with who you are.  As you get older, you realized that most people aren’t paying attention to your flaws nearly as much as you are.  You are your own worst critic when you should be your own best friend.  If you take nothing else away from this flirting advice, take this:  if you are a person who enjoys flirting and does it appropriately, your flirtation will usually be well received.

These rules can easily be applied to online dating as well. When you happen across a profile that really catches your eye – take special care to reach out in a confident and flirtatious way.  One of the best places to start grooming those flirtatious skills is with Match.com 6 Month Guarantee – That’s SIX months to master the skill with nothing to lose if you don’t find a match.

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You’ve chosen several photos from your online dating service and sent out your personal online profile. Now you are waiting for the replies to start rolling in. You wait a few days, and nothing. You start to feel as though you should go back to the bars, at least the rejection there is face to face. What could have gone wrong?

First of all, these people don’t know you, so you can’t realistically take a lack of response too personally. Often users of online dating services have a stack of profiles next to their computer and take their time returning emails, so don’t get discouraged.

The worst mistake you can make is contacting people over and over. This can turn them off and give the impression that you are a stalker, some dating services online will cancel your membership or censure you if they receive reports of continuous attempts to contact ( as well they should. Remember, they don’t know your motives any more than you know anyone else’s when online.)

Another online dating tip is to contact as many people that have an interesting profile as possible. If you only contact two or three, and then wait weeks for a reply, of course you’re going to get frustrated, but if you send contact emails to 20 different people, chances are you will receive several replies. Again, do not take it personally! There are hundreds of free online dating sites to choose from, and those are just the free ones. I have a personal confidence in sites like eHarmony and Match.com though. It’s always been my personal belief that you get what you pay for. If you are joining free dating sites – then what message is that sending? If you are willing to pay for a quality service – you might have better luck in meeting your match.

If you are continuously getting rejection emails (I don’t mean lack of replies, but true, actual rejections) maybe the problem is your profile. Recheck it and see what it says about you. Is it honest and sincere? Did you send your best picture? Does it sound too needy or too non committal?

There are lots of services that offer to help with putting together the perfect profile. I even have an offer to critique or rewrite your personal ad – based on years of working in the online dating industry, I’ve got a pretty good handle on what works and what doesn’t – I’m always happy to provide tips to help people find love.

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